The REAL World
A phrase spokened to me 3 days back struck a cord in me. "You have left your studies behind, now you are entering the new world, this is the real world." The world is ugly, real ugly. Hiearchy overwhelms eveything in the real world, racial biasness prevails in the real world, reasoning is not an option in the real world; accepting orders are a way of life in the real world, your watch never beat your superior's watch in the real world, vulgarities spills over the real world, there's no privacy in the real world and of course, life has no meaning in the real world. All I can say is that I can't wait to leave the real wolrd in 2.5 years time and be back to civilisation, away from the barbaric society that is termed "The Real World".
You have a choice.
"You are in here, you have no choice. Do you agree?"
"Of course you have, you can choose not to be a Singaporean. By choosing to be one, you have made your choice and there are consequence to your choice."
The beauty of the language has been totally lost, at least in my opinion. Arguementative phrases used to pleasure me during my GP lessons. They were part of my life. Things could be reasoned out, things are logical, the simplest assumptions can be made. Now, all is lost. That sponge in my head is supposed to be squeezed dry and be ready to absorb any thing that they project out of their mouths on that island. But no, with each day on that island, more magnesium carbonate coats that sponge, no water would be absorb, all water in it shall be retained. I will not change.
What time is it?
I have got a therapist recommendation to excuse me from boots for 3 weeks, with GST, hand grenade and bayonet fighting coming up in these 3 weeks and hainvg missed the previous field camp and a recommendation for skin prick test at NUH from my GP, I think it's time. This is the time to be stagnent. No progress is progress for me.
"Budget to be released on 28 Feb"
This headline stared into me face when I got back home for Hari Raya. The unspoken fear is coming back again. Two years back, it was this time of the year when I was so depressed. I could not fit into my class, I hate the subjects I am taking but there are no other combinations, I want to stay in this college but I am not sure if I could. If I was to made a choice for other college, what would it be? This would be a failure that will affect my whole life, making or breaking me. Now, it's all coming back. The circumstances have changed, but those questions still apply.
The A's results would be out soon. Too soon for comfort. Confidence? Not a single bit. There are just too many "What if"s in my mind now. What if I can't get at least 2 A? What if I cannot get at least a B3 for my GP? What if I cannot even be considered for a scholarship? What if I cannot get into Comm Studies? What if I fail? What if I am an embarassment to my family, my friends, me? It's less than a month away, the countdown starts now...
A phrase spokened to me 3 days back struck a cord in me. "You have left your studies behind, now you are entering the new world, this is the real world." The world is ugly, real ugly. Hiearchy overwhelms eveything in the real world, racial biasness prevails in the real world, reasoning is not an option in the real world; accepting orders are a way of life in the real world, your watch never beat your superior's watch in the real world, vulgarities spills over the real world, there's no privacy in the real world and of course, life has no meaning in the real world. All I can say is that I can't wait to leave the real wolrd in 2.5 years time and be back to civilisation, away from the barbaric society that is termed "The Real World".
You have a choice.
"You are in here, you have no choice. Do you agree?"
"Of course you have, you can choose not to be a Singaporean. By choosing to be one, you have made your choice and there are consequence to your choice."
The beauty of the language has been totally lost, at least in my opinion. Arguementative phrases used to pleasure me during my GP lessons. They were part of my life. Things could be reasoned out, things are logical, the simplest assumptions can be made. Now, all is lost. That sponge in my head is supposed to be squeezed dry and be ready to absorb any thing that they project out of their mouths on that island. But no, with each day on that island, more magnesium carbonate coats that sponge, no water would be absorb, all water in it shall be retained. I will not change.
What time is it?
I have got a therapist recommendation to excuse me from boots for 3 weeks, with GST, hand grenade and bayonet fighting coming up in these 3 weeks and hainvg missed the previous field camp and a recommendation for skin prick test at NUH from my GP, I think it's time. This is the time to be stagnent. No progress is progress for me.
"Budget to be released on 28 Feb"
This headline stared into me face when I got back home for Hari Raya. The unspoken fear is coming back again. Two years back, it was this time of the year when I was so depressed. I could not fit into my class, I hate the subjects I am taking but there are no other combinations, I want to stay in this college but I am not sure if I could. If I was to made a choice for other college, what would it be? This would be a failure that will affect my whole life, making or breaking me. Now, it's all coming back. The circumstances have changed, but those questions still apply.
The A's results would be out soon. Too soon for comfort. Confidence? Not a single bit. There are just too many "What if"s in my mind now. What if I can't get at least 2 A? What if I cannot get at least a B3 for my GP? What if I cannot even be considered for a scholarship? What if I cannot get into Comm Studies? What if I fail? What if I am an embarassment to my family, my friends, me? It's less than a month away, the countdown starts now...
